


Let me lay down beside you/ Let me always be with you

by Ravensmores



Series: Tumblr Prompts [4]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Angst, Changed the age difference slightly as it felt kind of squicky otherwise, Childhood Friends, Dancer Katsuki Yuuri, Dancer Victor Nikiforov, First Kiss, Idk I wrote this on my phone at an airport, M/M, Mild Angst, Victor is 17 Yuuri is 15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-02 00:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15784833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravensmores/pseuds/Ravensmores
Summary: Yuuri looks over the rest of the boxes, all filled with various piles of Victor’s things.He hates it.Hates how Victor can just up and go with the same easy smile he’d use to say he was going to camp for the summer, as if he could just pack up his entire life between four cardboard sides.





	Let me lay down beside you/ Let me always be with you

**Author's Note:**

> Another tumblr prompt that I ended up working on while stuck in an airport for three hours.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> (Bonus points if you know the song from the lyrics I used for the title)

He can’t leave.

He _can’t._

Sitting in the organised chaos of Victor’s mostly-packed bedroom, Yuuri can feel all his worst fears ready to choke him. Ever since Victor had told him he was moving those weeks ago, he could feel a thick burning round of tears constantly welling behind his eyes. Watching Victor move with such graceful ease around all his things, airily talking about new exercise ideas as he separates shirts by designer and colour, Yuuri can feel them ready to spill over.

“Oh wow I completely forgot I still had these!” He’s briefly snapped out of his sad mess of thoughts by Victor shoving an old dog-eared shoe box in his lap. Looking down through the nest of delicate tissue paper inside, he recognises the small pair of worn ballet shoes inside, the heels cracked and feathered from years of use.

“Wow. How old were you when you last wore these?” Yuuri murmurs, reaching inside to gently run his fingers across the soft leather.

“Hmmm maybe nine or ten?” Victor crouches down to where Yuuri is perched on the edge of his bed and leans in to take a closer look, the silver of his eyelashes more prominent as they catch the late afternoon sunshine. “I used to live in these things.”

Yuuri remembers. Remembers watching his new neighbours move into the house next door. Remembers seeing the boy with the silver braid practicing nightly through his window, every stretch so effortless beautiful. Remembers when that boy caught him staring one night and turned up at his door the next day in those very shoes, asking if he wanted to come over and play. Remembers that even when he was so young he knew what that warm feeling was when he grabbed Yuuri’s hand for the first time, begging him to join his dance class.

_“Come on you’re my best friend Yuuri! It doesn’t matter that you’re younger, they can’t say no to me!”_

He flicks his eyes up to Victor now, almost ten years later. He’d always been jealous about how Victor had grown into his looks: tall, willowy and angular, the silver on his head braided and styled like an effortless crown. Compared to him, Yuuri could never stand out, his current dance teacher chiding him for how round he still was around the middle.

“You better be careful packing these,” he murmurs to the small space between them, pushing them back into his hands. Victor moves to take them back, their fingers brushing for the briefest moment.

Yuuri tries to keep his breathing steady.

“I’m not sure if I’ve really got the room.” He stands to his full height, surveying the mess of labelled boxes surrounding them. “They aren’t really going to fit with the rest of them.” He gestures to the box in the corner filled with each pair of precariously wrapped dancing shoes.

Yuuri looks over the rest of the boxes, all filled with various piles of Victor’s things.

He hates it.

Hates how Victor can just up and go with the same easy smile he’d use to say he was going to camp for the summer, as if he could just pack up his entire life between four cardboard sides. He can’t take the tree in his garden where they’d both carved their names, the exhilaration of running home together after school, the nights he’d laid his head at the foot of Yuuri’s bed, absentmindedly petting his dog while going on about all the shows he’s was going to perform when he’s older.

He can feel himself blushing a little at the memories and he knows why.

He’s known it for a long time.

Victor is beyond beautiful, older, more experienced, more talented and yet somehow wants Yuuri to be his best friend. Of course he was going to fall for him sooner or later.

As Victor bends down to inspect another box, the pale slope of his shoulder falls out the neck of the over sized pink sweater he has on.

Yuuri bites his tongue. He can feel them. Three little words that have been dancing on the tip of his tongue for years now… but he can’t. He was too much of a coward when he was younger and it was far too late now.

He digs his nails into the meat of his thighs at the thought.

“Hey I know!” Victor suddenly spins around, bending down to press the shoes back into Yuuri’s hands. “You should take care of them for me.”

Yuuri blinks rapidly in shock at the sudden statement. “Victor. Me?”

“It’s perfect!” He claps his hands together. “I can’t really take them and you know how to look after shoes like these!” His grin only gets wider as he more firmly presses the box into Yuuri’s grasp.

“Victor, I can’t…” he manages to find his voice through the thick wave of surprise. “They’re too precious, someone like me can’t-“

“Yuuri.” Victor leans in to look him dead in the eye, the silvery freckles on his nose peeking into view. “There’s no one else _on Earth_ I could ever trust enough to take these apart from you,” he murmurs, the warmth of his breath washing across Yuuri’s face. He can feel the heat in his cheeks visibly rising. “Besides,” Victor’s eyes flick down to the box they both have their hands on, “now you have the perfect excuse to come and visit.” Before Yuuri has the chance to close the distance between them, Victor has sprung up again, stepping back to lean against his wardrobe.

“All the way to Russia?” Yuuri eventually blurts out when he can feel his face again.

“Of course!” Victor smiles gently, the blue of his eyes warmer than any onsen, “you don’t really think this is goodbye right?”

Yuuri feels something inside him snap.

Placing the shoes next to him, he flings himself at Victor, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in his soft, sweater-clad shoulder.

“Woah, Yuuri,” he chuckles as Yuuri hugs him. “What are you-“

 _“You can’t go.”_ It’s a soft murmur, barely audible through the thick fabric.

Yuuri feels fingers against the side of his face pushing gently, until he’s looking Victor in the face properly. “Pardon?” His smile is as sweet as ever.

Yuuri takes a steadying breath. “You can’t go.”

The pucker in Victor’s brow at Yuuri’s sudden clinginess melts away as he looks at him, gently placing his own arms around Yuuri’s waist. “I know it’s not great timing,” he murmurs. “I mean I’d rather graduate with the friends in my class and I don’t really want to go back to Russia right now, but this academy really is the best chance for me to-“

“No.” Yuuri cuts him off, his expression harder. “That’s not what I mean.”

Victor sighs, looking down for a second before looking back to Yuuri, the first tinges of sadness crinkling around his eyes. “I know.”

“Victor I…” Yuuri swallows hard. He’s practiced this speech a thousand times late at night or daydreaming during class but right now all the words feel like thick tar in his throat, Victor’s small, sad smile threatening to break him. “I’ve wanted to say this for so long but-“ it’s his turn to look down now, unable to hold Victor’s soft gaze any longer, “I just- I just don’t know how to-“

He’s cut off by Victor’s hands moving from his waist to gently cup his cheeks, tilting his head to meet his eyes again. “Yuuri,” he murmurs a little more firmly, “I _know_.”

Yuuri feels like the ground is collapsing from under him. “You do?”

Victor lets out a small laugh as he slowly moves his hands away from Yuuri’s face, reaching round to gently unhook his hands from the back of his sweater. “Of course I know. You’re my best friend, I know how to read you.”

The small step back that Victor takes might as well be a mile, the stupidity of everything Yuuri’s just done suddenly feeling like a lead weight dragging him though the floor. “Oh God, Victor I’m sorry,” he chokes out, bringing his hands to cover his face and trying not let the angry tears of embarrassment spill over. “Just- please just forget I said anything.” Everything they’d shared for the last decade, every moment, every laugh, every look between them was ruined. Burned up by a stupid _stupid_ impulse. He feels the sobs starting to shake in his chest despite how he fights them.

Through the hot turmoil of his mind, he vaguely hears a gasp and then feels his hands being pulled from his face, Victor’s now a little closer. “Why?”

“Because it was stupid,” he mumbles, trying not to catch Victor’s gaze, or acknowledge how his cheeks are probably pinker than his sweater. “Because I’ve ruined everything.” He feels the first tear slowly escape from the corner of his eye, more threatening to follow as he blinks and exhales shakily.

He almost flinches when he feels Victor’s soft fingers against his face again. “No you haven’t,” he whispers, gently brushing away the tear with his thumb, his voice tinged with worry, “of course you haven’t. Please _please_ don’tthink that.”

Yuuri takes another breath but can’t stop the tears once they’ve started, falling fast and unlovely down his cheeks. “But, I-“

Suddenly the fingers are against his mouth, silencing him. “ _Yuuri_ ,” his name is barely above a breath, Victor’s face not an inch from his own, “just- close your eyes for a second.”

Confusion flashes across his expression but he obliges. Once the world is enveloped in wet, blurry darkness, he feels the warmth of the air from each of Victor’s breaths as he slowly removes his fingers from Yuuri’s lips.

Before he can open his mouth to question him, he feels the heat of Victor’s face inching closer before the soft, hot press of lips against his own.

Surprise is the first thing that briefly flickers across Yuuri’s mind before it’s completely overwhelmed by a desire stronger than anything he’s ever felt before exploding like a thousand fireworks throughout him. A firm wobbly heat blooms from under his mouth and sinks into every part of his body as he reaches out to pull Victor back into the circle of his arms, trying to get impossibly closer. Victor follows suit, wrapping one arm around his waist and letting the fingers of his other hand slowly trace up and down the length of Yuuri’s spine, the gentle touch igniting another trail of sparks under his skin. Yuuri leans in further, melting under every soft brush of fingers and lips.

Eventually Victor opens his mouth just a little, letting Yuuri feel the warmth of his breath and taste the mint on his tongue from the tea they were drinking earlier. Yuuri’s mainly flying on instinct at this point, mirroring each of Victor’s moves. He feels a small tug of satisfaction as Victor tightens his grip on him when he lightly bites down on his bottom lip.

It could have been minutes or hours before Victor slowly pulls away, his lips swollen and lovely and probably red enough to match Yuuri’s cheeks from earlier. Yuuri keeps a firm grip on the muscles of Victor’s forearms, his legs more than a little wobbly after all that. For a few seconds they just hold onto each other in a comfortable silence, trying to catch their breath.

Eventually Yuuri pulls his head back a little, wanting to say something, anything to express how amazing that was. Looking back up at Victor’s flushed cheeks, he finds his words sticking in his throat for an entirely different reason.

“ _Victor_ ,” he eventually manages to gasp out, “Why?”

He’s surprised more than anything at the tears that starting falling like glistening pearls down Victor’s face before he quietly answers. “I can’t change what’s happening,” he murmurs hugging Yuuri a little closer, “ and we can’t really do anything right now, but at least there was something I could do.”

Yuuri furrows his brow slightly, still a little disorientated and shaky after everything. “What was that?” he eventually breathes out, both terrified and desperate for the answer.

Victor moves his hand to lightly brush a few errant hairs away from Yuuri’s forehead as he continues. “I wanted to make sure that your first kiss was with someone you love,” he flicks his eyes down to Yuuri’s mouth before leaning in again, “ _and with someone who loves you.”_

They kiss for a while longer, Yuuri finally able to indulge himself, touch the places he’s been dreaming about for so long. He lightly brushes his fingers across the softness of Victor’s cheek, down the graceful sweep of his neck, before finally reaching up to untie his hair so he can run his fingers through the soft, fine strands, a clumsy approximation of what he assumes is a lover’s caress.

Their kissing slowly cools into softer presses of fingers and lips as they both lie down on top of Victor’s duvet. Victor eventually pulls him properly across his chest, Yuuri’s cheek pressing directly over the slowing beat of his heart while he gently runs his hand in broad strokes across his back under the fabric of his shirt.

“Will you think about me when you’re gone?” Yuuri eventually whispers against him, leaving a warm spot through Victor’s sweater.

Victor’s hand stills for a few seconds. “Of course I will,” he murmurs, catching Yuuri’s soft gaze as he twists his head to look at him. “You’re my-“ he pauses before he automatically finishes with _best friend_ , removing his hand from Yuuri’s back and instead tracing his thumb against his bottom lip. “Well that’s just it, you’re mine.” His expression is so tender, Yuuri can feel his whole world going pink at the words. “My Yuuri,” he softly muses before pulling him more properly on top so he can kiss him again.

As they break apart, Yuuri gently lets his forehead rest against Victor’s, thinking of a thousand different things he wants to say to him right now, something to make this moment perfect. Slowly opening his eyes and seeing the deep blue swirl of emotion reflecting out of Victor’s, he feels the right words softly escaping his mouth before he has a chance to hesitate.

_“My Victor.”_

——

Yuuri stares at the end of his road long after Victor and his family have disappeared. He can feel the chill of the evening wind brushing past him but he doesn’t dare move, some childish part of him hoping that if he stands here long enough eventually he’ll see him sauntering back down the road, the same way he does every evening after dance class. Eventually the edges of night and some gentle encouragement from his dog push him back inside, the hours that follow passing in a slow, heavy blur.

The memories of their last time together are bittersweet in his mind. Despite every burning caress and whispered word he can still feel so vividly under his skin, he knows that Victor can never be his.

Not really anyway.

If he closes his eyes hard enough, he can almost feel the trace of Victor’s mouth, the softness of his hair under his fingers, hear the whisper of his breath against his ear as he touches him. He never lets the fantasy last too long, the pent up tears from the last few weeks spilling over all too easily when he opens his eyes and realises that he’s alone.

Still, he has a job to do.

Every night he carefully takes the old ballet shoes from the box, lightly caressing the soft material and checking for any more damages. He knows it’s silly, but looking for tiny imperfections day after day at least gave him a routine.

It’s what he promised to do.

—-

It’s midnight a few days after Victor has left when he finally hears from him again, the vibration of his phone pulling Yuuri from dreams about soft eyes and softer smiles. Pulling on his glasses and unlocking the screen, his heart melts a little at the message.

Victor sits outside his new home, surrounded by a thick, silvery bank of snow and hugging the fluffiest poodle Yuuri has ever seen in his life. He traces the words that accompany it slowly, closing his eyes as he imagines the soft timbre of Victor’s voice speaking them to him.

 

_Just three years until I’m a qualified dancer! Make sure to take care of those shoes until then as I’m getting you front row seats to my first performance!_

_Don’t be sad. Remember, this was never goodbye. I don’t think I’d have any inspiration left if you weren’t part of my life._

_You’re always who I’ve been dancing for, don’t you ever forget that._

_Your Victor. Xx_

_(Also the puppy’s name is Makkachin and I’m definitely stealing her)_

 

It doesn’t take him long to send a response before slowly sinking back into dreams, hugging his phone to his chest and imagining running back into the warmth of his outstretched arms.

 

_I waited almost ten years. For you I can definitely handle another three._

_Your Yuuri. Xx_

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on [Tumblr](https://ravensmores.tumblr.com/) \- @ravensmores


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